Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Festivus 2008

Today is December 23, and you know what that means... it's Festivus time!

Festivus, which originated on an episode of "Seinfeld" in 1997, is a non-denominational holiday celebrated on Dec. 23 (or sometimes earlier, to avoid the Christmas rush). Instead of a tree, a simple unadorned aluminum pole is displayed, in opposition to the highly decorated Christmas trees. Two of the main elements of the holiday that involve people are the annual Airing of Grievances and the Feats of Strength. There are Festivus Miracles too, but they're not officially required.

So to celebrate, here are my list of Legion grievances. Please add your own in the comments, but remember they only can cover calendar year 2008 (so no whining about anything that happened last year). In no particular order:

  1. The Superman & the Legion story totally undercut the v5 storyline and got people thinking that Legion continuity was even more convoluted (and the reboots make it more convoluteder), leading to Shooter leaving

  2. The Legion cartoon got cancelled despite high ratings

  3. LSH v5 sales kept dropping even after Shooter joined (maybe partially related to #1)

  4. Although it was one of the themes of this year's San Diego Comic Con, and got the cover spot on the con program, DC paid no attention to the Legion at their booth - no pins, no posters - while heavily promoting other stuff

  5. The Superboy lawsuit is STILL not settled.

  6. Whatever happened to that Jim Lee/Paul Levitz Legion story that was supposed to come out months ago? Delayed until sometime in 2009, so I've heard, but nothing specific.

  7. Delays in the publishing schedule of "Legion of Three Worlds": #1 in August, #2 in October, #3 in December or January, #4 in February (allegedly), and #5 who knows. I know they're having problems with "Final Crisis" itself, but is it a monthly, bi-monthly, or quarterly?

  8. Karate Kid and Una in Countdown. WTF? Can anyone explain this? The only good thing I can recall out of this is when Supergirl met them and recalled "her" (v5) Legion.

  9. The cancellation of the animated Legion comic, "Legion of Super-Heroes in the 31st Century"

Now to temper the List of Grievances, we also have some Festivus Miracles:
  1. It's the 50th anniversary of the Legion. I think it's a miracle they're still around!

  2. Heavy buzz factor on multiple fronts: Superman & the Legion, L3W as Final Crisis tie-in, Jim Shooter; various titles and storylines made end-of-year top 10 lists

  3. Despite the schizophrenic promotion in San Diego this year, the Legion's 50th was one of the themes, and it made the cover. Plus there was a great (but too-short) Legion panel.

  4. George Perez got to fulfill a lifetime dream of working on the Legion, in "Legion of Three Worlds".

  5. Dawnstar appeared in Vogue magazine

  6. Geoff Johns apparently wrote my Multiversal Retconitis essay (Batman has met three different versions of the Legion but never mentioned it before) into Action 864

  7. Teenagers from the Future. A scholarly book! About the Legion!

  8. Legion of Three Worlds: restoring Superboy to the Legion and the return of the Pre-Crisis and Post-Zero Hour Legions. Plus, George Perez and Geoff Johns!

  9. The Legion on Smallville. We'll be able to cover this one next year too.

The last of the Festivus traditions is the Feats of Strength, in which the guests wrestle with and try to pin the host to the floor. I think I've been doing that all year long with my trivia (see past quizzes here), but here are three bonus questions for you to wrestle with.
  1. In a dusty file room in a sub-basement somewhere in Legion HQ stand some file cabinets. Next to the one marked "Substitute Heroes" (no, really, there was a filing cabinet) is a cabinet labeled "Secret Weapons". What did we ever see that was in that cabinet?

  2. Where would you find Mog Vagor, Nimbok of Vaalor, and Duke Harrington of Maine?

  3. In the suit he wore to his first tryout, which Legionnaires' powers did ERG-1 demonstrate?

5 comments:

snell said...

Grievance: The first two issues of Lo3W feature 99% Johns' Legion, with the other two Legions essentially reduced to a one page cameo of Brainiacs arguing and a couple of Perez double-page spreads. I know there's a way to go, but 40% of the way in, calling it Legion of Three Worlds feels like a bait & switch...

kushiro said...

DC has listed Legion of Three Worlds #5 as coming out on Mar 25th. It'll probably be later than that, but at least now we know exactly when not to expect it.

Johnathan said...

2: They're all in the rocket-cemetery on Shanghalla.

3: As I recall... Element Lad, Colossal Boy, Shrinking Violet and Phantom Girl. And he flew.

Viva Festivus!

Anonymous said...

The biggest two blows were V.5 and the loss of Cartoon Legion and all things lnked to them coming to a steady hault (though V.5 its just news its coming to a hault). Everything else is annoyances, but those two are not.

J.D. Long said...

1. In a dusty file room in a sub-basement somewhere in Legion HQ stand some file cabinets. Next to the one marked "Substitute Heroes" (no, really, there was a filing cabinet) is a cabinet labeled "Secret Weapons". What did we ever see that was in that cabinet?

It's where they kept the Miracle Machine before Matter-Eater Lad ate it.

2. Where would you find Mog Vagor, Nimbok of Vaalor, and Duke Harrington of Maine?

Carnival Cruise? Shanghalla? A really bad Spaghetti Western? Rio during Carnival?

3. In the suit he wore to his first tryout, which Legionnaires' powers did ERG-1 demonstrate?

ERG-1 (which stood for "Energy Release Generator, #1) eventually was renamed Wildfire. He demonstrated shrink powers, growth powers, and phantom powers, as well as flying. At ther end of the story he demonstrated his visor-blast, which knocked him for a loop.

~~JD~~